I was looking at some pictures in Facebook and it suddenly hit me: we’re not children anymore. We’ve grown old, our faces have aged, our bodies have changed, we’re adults now. Yet I’m still here, envisioning myself as a child, holding my childhood too tight and afraid to let go of it. Now I understand what Peter Pan felt in Neverland…
I have yet to understand how easily you won me when you never even gave me a chance to be with you.
In a matter of seconds everything changed. I stopped breathing. You stole my breath my breath. You said I was yours and I agreed. And you what? I’ve never felt so happy before.
We met at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. I had never looked at you, but everyone spoke highly of you. It seemed like everyone cared for you. They told me how handsome you were: the hair, the eyes, the nose, the mouth, the hands, the arms, the legs, the butt. I was not prepared. I saw for the first time in my life. I saw the reflection. I saw you, I saw me and I cried and cried. Everyone was right.
It’s been 5 years now. I shouldn’t be alive. I saw all the hands reaching out for me and I heard all the cries over my body, yet I still went and did it anyway. You heard, you came, you called, you were there. I shouldn’t be alive, but I am and it’s because you never gave up on me. Now that you’re gone, I gotta live for both of us. Easy to make that promise…
You stopped talking to me out of the blue. Never got an explanation. You simply vanished after two years. Until I found you again in Grindr a couple of weeks later. On your profile it said you were single. I guess I was only a booty call to you…
Fun thought: Tumblr has allowed us to question and ignore social etiquette.
Fandoms have changed and united people in ways which before our time would be considered as obsessions.
It has also allowed many of the TV programs to lose quality to gain more viewers and expand their fandom (i.e. Third season of AHS).
People have started to create a fandom around “attractive looking” people, demonstrating that looks do matter. With a hypocrite double moral stating that everyone’s beautiful. (Certainly reminding us of Animal Farm’s pigs’ slogan: “all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”)
And this all comes around with the over-sexualized “asks” everyone gets, or at least most people, inquiring about ding dongs and a person’s preference in bed. We can do this all anonymously, hidden behind keyboards and monitors.
So we can ask everything while being protected from any form of social control and therefore, we avoid the responsibility of facing how rude and invasive we actually have become.
The worst part is how we have romanticized many aspects, many subjects that are actually serious: suicide, feelings of love, feelings of sadness, feelings in general.
Tumblr is shaping generations into thinking that it’s alright to behave like socially awkward people. Instead of helping each other overcome this, they celebrate their mediocrity when it comes to socializing. Even worse, they celebrate the idea of rejecting the world.
In conclusion, Tumblr is a double edged sword which without careful criteria for using it, it can cause a lot of harm rather than help people become a better version of themselves.
The first kiss is more than a kiss, it’s the moment of vulnerability which comes before it. You open up and welcome someone else in your personal space. It’s the moment that shows your character ‘cause it’s given with the entirety of your body and your emotions. It’s all the words you wished you could say, but exist in no known language. Strangers and friends, we’ve all shared that feeling of ecstasy, joy, anxiety and even fear and vulnerability. The first kiss is more than just a kiss, it’s the most basic and fundamental essence present in each and every single kind of human relationship. It’s romanceless and selfless love.
It was in the middle of the night when I dared to ask you how long this would go on. How long would we keep the farse alive, pretending that we still love each other till death do us appart. You looked at me and finally I understood. I was dead to you.
As I sit in our balcony on top of our isolation, I see the city lights shimmering in the dark of the night. The yellowish lights contrast with my human solitude. I stare at them, the people in the city and I feel sad. If only they knew about the white lights and colorful clouds hidden in the dark skies, maybe then they would turn their lights off. Maybe then they would stop ignoring how small we truly are.